YUMINNNN

aha okay, i went out again today. yes bad, D= girl, D=


D=


lol dumb-ness. kay. went to bugis w wanling,ant and huingee. shirley came after to join us. just basically did window shopping. yeaaaa..
ate ajisen after that haha nice nice ate the lovely baby octopus? :)
whatelse. just basically spent money on my meal la. haha sad-case.
went up to singaporepowerbuilding for 'free' pool after that. haha man, we sound so cheapskate. my pool skills are getting urm rusty? just like my bowling? tsk.
me&hn teamed against the rest in one game and WE WON! lol rocks :D next time we shall go there for gym/swim/pool and then we shall have forfeits! :) is that how its spelt? ya anyhows you know what i mean, dont'cha?
speaking of bowling.. i had to leave early and im kinda glad i did. I SAW COACH!
hehheh he was with the cdiv people coming back from victors i think. and i was waiting for my sister to finish her training. yea anyhows he walked out and i asked hariz to like shout for him and i waved to him and stuff. god i miss coachhhhh :)
he looked happy to see me too hahaha =P so ya. am glad i gotta see him. its been like months? tsk..
while watching hariz,ken,lennon play around it reminded me of how desmond,nison,lohyee,ant and me have played around that night when i got a terrible scolding from my mum. a tuesday, i remember. childish, i admit. but who gives a fuck about it? we had fun. and now its gone. slipped through my fingers. our fingers. hah. man i miss it. i seriously do. was suddenly overwhelmed with a kind of devastation? is that what was the feeling? im not too sure. but it sure felt sad to me? ya..

've wasted 3 whole years. 3whole years of shit bowling. doing shit stuff during trainings and not taking it seriously. and now i understand why people say we only know to cherish when we lose something. yes i've lost something. the skills maybe? and i've wasted the fees. going there to have fun bowling too many a time.. when i shouldnt have. should've taken it seriously. URGH DARN!
on the day [28march2005] when my scores wasnt up to expectations [coach's, mine, etc.] i was broken. emotionally, physically, mentally, psychologically, whatever. i was broken. i know i aint good. i dont even think i could make it to the masters. whats a dunearn bowler doing in the masters? a dunearn bowler LIKE ME?! yes. i was broken. and was never mended. still am broken, y'know?
guess on that day coach didnt want to pressurize me in any way? so he was at the other lanes most of the time. i was desperate, to the point of even wanting to burst out in tears. [losing control, thats called? yes i guess. of my emotions. that damn word.] i didnt know why things had to be fine one day, and stupid the next.
right, no whys. no becauses. i get it.

i still could remember how i felt at the point of time. when coach told me 'not everydays a sunday'. i knew. i saw that coming. i knew i was gonna get bowling good the first time. and that'll lead to a boast of morale. and then during the consecutive times, i'll bowl like a blindman. and yes i did.

and now its over. lmao, what can i say?

nothing. absolutely nothing.
why these strong emotions ym? you aint good in the first place, face it. so why would you care?


oh right.thats it. wake up, right people?
slap my face, my bums, my ohsoflat chest,back,forehead and tell me to face it, wake up, stop dreaming?
yes yes yes. absofuckinglutely true.

posted by yumin :D @ 9:16 PM